no, he came in my armpit
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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