is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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