I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
