hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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