We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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