Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize