He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
