I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
