We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?