i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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