hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
there was a trapeze. enough said
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
