What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
