I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
What a dumb baby whore.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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