On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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