She's JV to your varsity
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
