you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
wrigley field is MILF paradise
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
