please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
