drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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