honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned