JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite