Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize