This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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