Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
