if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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