Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
