okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I touched a dick in church today
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
