perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
