is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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