Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
