I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize