Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize