I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
