I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize