So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
