I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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