no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
