What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize