I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
