You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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