You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
