it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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