Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
