Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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