Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize