someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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