You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
