She said her name was "party"
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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