Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
