Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
