i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
