What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
