I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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