9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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