I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
