Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
