I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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