Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
