Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
