she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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