You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
