so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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