mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
