you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
