i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Randomize
