i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize