dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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